A recent article in The Wall Street Journal, “The Over-Protected American Child”
https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-overprotected-american-child-1527865038
reported on a probable link between the two. The writer likened the
over-protected child to being “wrapped in bubble wrap”. Since bubble
wrap has been a constant presence in my life since Hurricane Harvey, I
felt a stir of interest in the headline.
When
Harvey filled our house with seven feet of Buffalo Bayou ten months
ago, friends and family used bubble wrap to protect many of our things
for storage during the months we were in a temporary apartment. Every
time I opened online purchases replacing items lost in the flood, bubble
wrap was the standard packaging. When it was time to pack up for our
final move to our new mid-rise apartment, I used up four huge rolls of
orange bubble wrap to protect fragile items. After unpacking, I enjoyed
seeing all of our beautiful china and decorative items freed at last
from the bubble wrap.
The WSJ article implies that America’s healthy children will also become
more beautiful when they are freed to become emotionally strong rather
than living an over-protected, “bubble-wrapped” existence. Efforts to
protect our children have resulted in a generation of children wearing
helmets on playgrounds and college students who retreat to safe spaces
when they hear a comment with which they disagree.
Educators and psychologists have long known that the rise of anxiety
among America’s children is linked to the underdevelopment of two key
executive functioning skills - resilience (in the face of
disappointment) and emotional regulation (such as impulse control). When
children learn to share, lose a game, accept disappointment, wait for
what they want, risk new experiences, do their own homework and
projects, and to manage their emotions, they develop self-confidence.
Without these coping skills, over-protected children will be anxious,
indecisive, and concerned that they do not measure up to others. These
children will not develop the ability to tolerate being alone, having to
find their own entertainment, having to wait to be heard, or think
about the feelings of others.
Long before this over-protecting trend took to the extreme, my favorite
book on the subject was The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, by Wendy Mogel.
Another excellent book by Ellen Galinsky is Mind in the Making, The
Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs. The most recent book on
my shelf on this topic is Grit, by Angela Duckworth. If you find
yourself reaching for the bubble wrap, try reaching for one of these
books instead.