Carolyn Means, M.Ed. 
Certified Educational Planner
713-851-2488 
cfmeans44@gmail.com

Blog Post

The American Child and Bubble Wrap

  • By Carolyn Means
  • 10 May, 2018

Is it possible to be so protective of your child that your child develops anxiety? 

A recent article in The Wall Street Journal, “The Over-Protected American Child”
https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-overprotected-american-child-1527865038 reported on a probable link between the two. The writer likened the over-protected child to being “wrapped in bubble wrap”. Since bubble wrap has been a constant presence in my life since Hurricane Harvey, I felt a stir of interest in the headline.

When Harvey filled our house with seven feet of Buffalo Bayou ten months ago, friends and family used bubble wrap to protect many of our things for storage during the months we were in a temporary apartment. Every time I opened online purchases replacing items lost in the flood, bubble wrap was the standard packaging. When it was time to pack up for our final move to our new mid-rise apartment, I used up four huge rolls of orange bubble wrap to protect fragile items. After unpacking, I enjoyed seeing all of our beautiful china and decorative items freed at last from the bubble wrap.

The WSJ article implies that America’s healthy children will also become more beautiful when they are freed to become emotionally strong rather than living an over-protected, “bubble-wrapped” existence. Efforts to protect our children have resulted in a generation of children wearing helmets on playgrounds and college students who retreat to safe spaces when they hear a comment with which they disagree.

Educators and psychologists have long known that the rise of anxiety among America’s children is linked to the underdevelopment of two key executive functioning skills - resilience (in the face of disappointment) and emotional regulation (such as impulse control). When children learn to share, lose a game, accept disappointment, wait for what they want, risk new experiences, do their own homework and projects, and to manage their emotions, they develop self-confidence. Without these coping skills, over-protected children will be anxious, indecisive, and concerned that they do not measure up to others. These children will not develop the ability to tolerate being alone, having to find their own entertainment, having to wait to be heard, or think about the feelings of others.

Long before this over-protecting trend took to the extreme, my favorite book on the subject was The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, by Wendy Mogel. Another excellent book by Ellen Galinsky is Mind in the Making, The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs. The most recent book on my shelf on this topic is Grit, by Angela Duckworth. If you find yourself reaching for the bubble wrap, try reaching for one of these books instead.
By Carolyn Means September 1, 2024

Thursday, September 5 at 9:15 AM Westview School's First EDU of the School Year

Are you finding it challenging to manage your child’s behaviors at home and in the community? Wondering where to focus your time and energy when it comes to behavior? Many students with autism benefit from explicit instruction in areas like self-help, social skills, and actively participating in the world around them. 

Behavior Strategies in the Home and Community with Sally Schwartzel, BCBA, M.Ed. , Westview’s Lower School Principal will be presented this Thursday at Westview School and also available on Zoom.

With over 18+ years of experience working with individuals across the spectrum, Sally will discuss key skills to focus on at each stage of learning and offer best practices to help set your child up for success both at home and in the community.   This event will be held in person in Largent Hall on The Westview School campus. Zoom attendance will be available by request. All attendees, both virtual and in-person, should register for the event.

  REGISTER HERE

 Any questions? Having an issue with the online registration form? Email Sarah Chauvin  for assistance.

By Carolyn Means August 29, 2024
Preschool children learn about shapes and develop fine motor skills using geoboards.
By Carolyn Means August 29, 2024
Local psychologist offers strategies to balance screen time for students.
By Carolyn Means August 29, 2024
This post alerts parents to a timely information session to get to know The Journey School Houston for special needs and 2e learners.
By Carolyn Means August 26, 2024
Parenting with brain development in mind.
By Carolyn Means August 26, 2024
The new Student Center at St. Francis Episcopal School is the focal point of the the The Couper Campus on Piney Point which also houses the early childhood program.
By Carolyn Means August 26, 2024
Many parents of middle and high school students come to me with college on their minds.  “Where should my child go so  he/she can get into the best colleges?  That is a complex question.  I trained to be a college counselor in a high school at Rice University when I lead the growth of the upper school at All Saints Episcopal School, Tyler in 1993.  Although I chose to stay on the administrative path rather than college counseling, I have always paid attention to what colleges look for when choosing applicants for their freshman classes.  That is why I felt confident when I began School Solutions ten years later that I knew what the “end product” needed to look like.  My grandchildren's  St. John’s education prepared them with study skills, independence, and confidence to take on new responsibilities away from home.  Being prepared for college begins as far back as middle school with choices not only in academics but also in fine arts and athletics. I work with families as early as 3rd grade to get ready for 5th grade admission to 6th grade and 7th grade to start preparing for high school admission.  That gives students time to choose their extra-curricular focus which will be important for high school admissions.   
By Carolyn Means January 14, 2023
 I recently attended a luncheon to celebrate the opening of the newest Luna Recovery facility which is located at 5757 Woodway Drive. Although I do not place students in residential therapeutic programs, I often get calls from families looking for local outpatient treatment programs. I also help students find the right school to attend when they have completed treatment in residential programs. All but a few of those attending were therapists and counselors, many of whom were professional friends I refer families to for counseling.  The speakers included a therapist at Luna Recovery, Dr. Crystal Collier,   PLLC , author of the hottest new book, The Neuro WhereAbouts Guide, and Dr. Jon Stevens, MD , a psychiatrist with Menningers and in private practice.  If you are looking for speakers to talk about current issues with adolescents, these folks are tops in their field and will hold the attention of any audience with adolescents.
By Carolyn Means February 25, 2022
A new independent middle school is opening in Southwest Houston this fall, and I am thrilled to share the news with families. The school plans to open with 6th and 7th grades this Fall - 2022. The leadership includes two brilliant, experienced educators : Eric Lerch from Episcopal High School as Head of School and Judy Adams, former River Oaks Baptist Middle School Principal, who serves as Board President. Tune in for a virtual event on March 6th to learn about their vision for a meaningful middle school experience. How will DBA approach curriculum, community and character in a new way for middle school students? I'm excited to find out !  
By Carolyn Means January 7, 2022
Three Favorite Books About Raising Children:
After all of the hard work of getting our students back into school and establishing a new normal under the cloud of the virus, we find our schools once again in the throes of indecision regarding in-school or virtual school learning. The argument against masks on preschoolers seems doomed to fail, so millions of little children will never know what their first teacher's face looked like, and teachers will not know what emotions were hiding under those smiley-face masks. The largest body of research among psychologists today is said to be on the subject of anxiety . I do not doubt it. I see fewer carefree and happy children these days than in years past. Four and five-year olds seem to have lost the spontaneity of childhood, the ready laughter and childlike wonder. They do not engage readily in play, and they seem to have acquired much less knowledge than their same age peers in prior years. Of course, my observations are not at all scientific, but they do correlate with current literature. So I urge parents to do all they can to stimulate their children by playing games, reading books that promote laughter and finding time to just be silly. There certainly is no time for that in school with social distancing. Three books I read some years ago come to mind: Einstein Never Used Flashcards, The Importance of Being Little and Becoming Brilliant  offer parents  the latest research on early childhood learning and ways to engage the mind and heart of the young child. Old truths are back in vogue: "The brain learns through play," and, "Learning is a social activity". If children can't play and be social at school, then they need to have this environment as much as possible at home.  Look for ways to introduce fun and stay away from flashcards and worksheets. Family games teach strategies and vocabulary and number sense while having fun and building relationships. And these don't require face masks. 
Show More
Share by: