Menu
  713-851-2488

The American Child and Bubble Wrap

Kim Green - Thursday, May 10, 2018

Is it possible to be so protective of your child that your child develops anxiety? 

A recent article in The Wall Street Journal, “The Over-Protected American Child”
https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-overprotected-american-child-1527865038 reported on a probable link between the two. The writer likened the over-protected child to being “wrapped in bubble wrap”. Since bubble wrap has been a constant presence in my life since Hurricane Harvey, I felt a stir of interest in the headline.

When Harvey filled our house with seven feet of Buffalo Bayou ten months ago, friends and family used bubble wrap to protect many of our things for storage during the months we were in a temporary apartment. Every time I opened online purchases replacing items lost in the flood, bubble wrap was the standard packaging. When it was time to pack up for our final move to our new mid-rise apartment, I used up four huge rolls of orange bubble wrap to protect fragile items. After unpacking, I enjoyed seeing all of our beautiful china and decorative items freed at last from the bubble wrap.

The WSJ article implies that America’s healthy children will also become more beautiful when they are freed to become emotionally strong rather than living an over-protected, “bubble-wrapped” existence. Efforts to protect our children have resulted in a generation of children wearing helmets on playgrounds and college students who retreat to safe spaces when they hear a comment with which they disagree.

Educators and psychologists have long known that the rise of anxiety among America’s children is linked to the underdevelopment of two key executive functioning skills - resilience (in the face of disappointment) and emotional regulation (such as impulse control). When children learn to share, lose a game, accept disappointment, wait for what they want, risk new experiences, do their own homework and projects, and to manage their emotions, they develop self-confidence. Without these coping skills, over-protected children will be anxious, indecisive, and concerned that they do not measure up to others. These children will not develop the ability to tolerate being alone, having to find their own entertainment, having to wait to be heard, or think about the feelings of others.

Long before this over-protecting trend took to the extreme, my favorite book on the subject was The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, by Wendy Mogel. Another excellent book by Ellen Galinsky is Mind in the Making, The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs. The most recent book on my shelf on this topic is Grit, by Angela Duckworth. If you find yourself reaching for the bubble wrap, try reaching for one of these books instead.

Executive Functioning - Organization and SAOTG

Carolyn Means - Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Another school-ready Executive Functioning skill that parents can help develop in their child at an early age is Organization. Some children come into my office and take out the cars in my red plastic case and line them up in a long line across the floor. Other children put all of numbered puzzle blocks in particular patterns. These children are already showing a desire to organize their work. They are also most likely to keep a To Do list and use a planner for school assignments in school. By high school, they will be the ones who use a calendar and plan ahead for projects and major tests. At a recent lunch sponsored by Fusion Academy, guest speaker Evan Weinberger presented an overview of the system his company designed to help students learn effective organizational skills. Over the past eight years I've referred Evan's company Staying Ahead of the Game to about 20 families whose students have learned life long skills. SAOTH  teaches students how to set goals, how to use a planner and calendar, and how to actually study - as opposed to "doing homework." While SAOTG helps students improve their grades, tutors also work with social skills so students learn how to impress even teachers whose classes they actually dislike. 

STEM at The Regis School

Carolyn Means - Tuesday, April 10, 2018

STEM is the big curriculum magnet at schools these days. At The Regis School of the Sacred Heart, STEM - Science, Technology, Engineering and Math - is a perfect focus for a school providing a unique education for boys ages 3-8th grade. The youngest boys learn to write code with legos on the library wall or bots in the elementary maker space. They design mazes with tape on the hallway floor. Older boys in the Mac lab create original designs which they produce on 3-D printers, learning the value of precise measurements. New furniture on wheels spins, goes up and down and across the floor in the math lab where boys work in pairs and groups on math projects and games. Since my last campus visit two ping pong tables have been placed in open hall space, golf and tennis have been added to the athletic options, and the new lights on the playing field have promoted more night games on campus. Eighth grade graduates this year will be headed for some of the following high schools: The Kinkaid School, Strake Jesuit Preparatory, St. John's School and St. Thomas High School. 

Why Do Executive Functioning Skills Matter for Admissions

Carolyn Means - Friday, April 06, 2018

When I was making a presentation to parents at ConocoPhillips recently, I asked for a show of hands of those parents who knew about "Executive Functioning Skills". One hand went up. Definitely, this is a topic that I thought was widely understood by parents but it must be just in my world of private school education. We need to change that because developing executive functioning skills - or EF skills - in children is an essential responsibility for parents today. Many EF skills are most evident when they are missing - like the space where a front tooth used to be. Just as every one can tell when a child has lost a front tooth, everyone can tell when a child has lost self-control in the grocery store, at a birthday party or in the classroom. 

Educational research shows that the number one executive functioning skill a child must have in order to learn is Emotional Regulation. This skill begins in the baby's crib and is fostered by loving parents who know that unless their child is hungry, wet or in pain, it is best to let the child cry when she is put down at bedtime. The child learns the power of soothing herself to sleep and not relying on a caregiver to do it for her. Likewise, when a child begins to melt down over a small disappointment, parents need to let the child experience sadness and move on or go to his room until he can calm himself. 

One of my favorite books about teaching executive functioning skills to your children is Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs by Ellen Galinsky. 


'The Sequence' Is the Secret to Success

Carolyn Means - Thursday, March 29, 2018

Wendy Wang, director of research for Family Studies, wrote an article published in The Wall Street Journal today. Based on one of the best studies of youth and young adults, researchers have identified a 'success sequence': getting a high school diploma, working, and then marrying before having children. In India, Asia and Japan, parents teach their children that the path to success runs through this sequence. Thus, in these regions, less than 4% of births are out of wedlock. In America, the path to the American Dream also depends upon following the sequence. But Wang and her colleague found that among millennials of lower-income, over 44% had a child out of wedlock versus 19% of their upper-income peers. A common statement by high-school students in the lower-income group was, "No one in my school talks about this," or "My mom never said anything either." Wang concludes, "It's time to stop hoarding the success-sequence message and start sharing it with those who need it the most," through MTV shows and media campaigns. 

How to Manage a Wait List Decision

Carolyn Means - Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Admission Decision: "Wait list" "Wait pool" How Should Parents Respond?

After all the months of going through the admission season, it's frustrating when your child ends up on a waiting list at your top school. Hopefully, your child has at least one acceptance at a second choice school, but is there is a chance you child could get off the waiting list?  In my experience as an admission director and 14 years as an independent educational consultant, I have seen many students get off the waiting list at their first or second choice schools. 

Who gets on the waiting list? Are wait lists ranked?

Some schools wait list all the qualified applicants they cannot take, while other schools keep a small  "wait pool". In either case, there is a small, unranked group identified as priority candidates to choose from. Schools often choose a student from the wait pool who closely resembles a student they did not get in order to keep balance and diversity in the class.

How should parents respond to a wait list letter? How long do schools keep a waiting list?

When students are wait listed, the school will request a reply in the form of a return post card, phone call or email to state if the student wishes to remain on the list or not. Parents should notify the school as soon as possible so the school can begin to assess who will remain in their wait pool.

After a week or so, call the admission directors for an update on how the list is looking. Admission directors try to give parents an accurate assessment of their child's chances of getting off the waiting list. Sometimes a "wait list" decision is a "soft no"; sometimes the school really wants a student and tells a parent they think they will go to the waiting list soon. Sometimes a school gets more acceptances than they expected, so that class will be "over-full" and the school will not go to their wait list.

My experience is that some students get off the wait list within two weeks, but others are still waiting on the Common Reply Date. A few days after contracts are due, schools assess their numbers and then contact their wait-listed students. For some students, this is too late because they have already enrolled at another school. As long as the school shows interest in keeping your child on the waiting list, and you would be able to accept a place if offered, you should stay on the list.

Need help getting off the wait list or making the right school choice?

Managing wait lists and deciding on which school to accept is a service provided by School Solutions even for students who did not go through the admission season as our client.  If you want proven, effective strategies to make sure you are accepting the right school offer, a Consultation could be the best way to end your admission season with the right school choice.

The Joy School Summer Programs

Carolyn Means - Thursday, February 01, 2018

"What does JOYful learning look like?" The Joy School Summer Programs brochure arrived yesterday and it's full of fun summer options for students of all ages - including some super middle school camps. Students can choose from social and academic remediation to creative writing and theme park design plus more.  You do not need to be a Joy School student to attend, but registration fills up quickly, so apply soon. www.thejoyschool.org/summer

Houston Private School Admission Myths #3

Carolyn Means - Thursday, February 01, 2018

HOUSTON PRIVATE SCHOOL ADMISSION MYTHS

Real Information Parents Can Use by  

Carolyn Means, M.Ed., CEP, Houston’s Day School Consultant

Myth #3: To make sure your child gets accepted to a school, make a big donation.

Parent: “I hear that if we want our daughter in our first choice school, we need to make a big donation. Should we give $10,000 or $50,000?”

Myth #3: The Truth: The truth is that parents should not make donations to schools they apply to. This can put the school in the embarrassing position of returning the donation, accepting it and not accepting your child, or being talked about as the school “where money gets your kid in”. The only exception to this rule is if the parents already have a relationship with the school as alumni or as parents of a current or former student. It would be appropriate for these parents to donate at their typical level to the annual fund, for example. Many Houston schools have an abundant supply of wealthy parents in their applicant pools, and money is not going to influence the admission committee. Schools have learned hard lessons from admitting unqualified students based on the parents’ potential to generously support a capital campaign. Always remember, the focus of the admission process is the student, not the parent’s bank account. There are many ways that a school can discover the potential financial support of an applicant’s parents, so save your donations until your child is enrolled.  

Private School Admission Myth #2

Carolyn Means - Tuesday, January 30, 2018

HOUSTON PRIVATE SCHOOL ADMISSION MYTHS

Real Information Parents Can Use  

Carolyn Means, M.Ed., CEP

Houston’s Day School Consultant

Myth #2: Parents should not be truthful on applications.

Questions on School Applications:

Has your child had educational testing in the past?

Is there anything you would like to tell us that would help us know your child better?

Has your child been diagnosed with a learning disability?

Is your child currently taking medication?

Has your child been asked to leave a previous school?

What other schools did you apply to in the past?

Parent

“Oh, no!! This is an application to the school of our dreams and I have to answer these questions? If they find out the truth, my child will never be accepted.”

I get this reaction often, but my experience with schools has always proven that being truthful is the right choice. Of course, sometimes my client and I discuss a situation and determine that the answer is, “No”. Other times when it is clear that the answer is, “Yes”, I explain why schools need this information and why being truthful will benefit the child.

Myth #2: The Truth The truth is that schools want to partner with parents. Partnerships begin with a truthful application.

When parents are not truthful on applications, they begin a network of fibs that can come back to haunt them. Admission directors are not expecting to find perfect applicants. When they learn that a child has a learning differences or an unfortunate past experience, they want to know what support the student is getting and if it is sufficient for the student’s success.

If you have concerns about how to answer these types of questions, come see me for a SCHOOL SOLUTIONS Consultation to talk about how being truthful can benefit your chances of admission to a school. Often I can help parents with application responses by talking through the issue and helping them understand how the school might view it in a positive light.

Private School Admission Myth #1

Carolyn Means - Tuesday, January 30, 2018

HOUSTON PRIVATE SCHOOL ADMISSION MYTHS

Real Information Parents Can Use  

Carolyn Means, M.Ed., CEP, Houston’s Day School Consultant

Myth #1: Top Houston private schools select students with the highest grades and test scores.

Parent: “Our son Jack just earned a perfect ISEE score of four 9’s! His OLSAT score was 140!!  He has dedicated his school years to becoming a perfect student. Test prep and tutors have taken up all his time, but with his high honor roll grades Jack should get into all the best high schools. What more could the schools want?”

Myth #1: The Truth: The truth is that low test scores may keep a student out of a school, but it takes more than high test scores to get a student in.  Without a doubt, admission committees will take notice of ISEE scores of 8 and 9 stanines. However, schools know high test scores are not predictive of success in school. High test scores could be the result of test prep, but not an inquisitive, creative mind. That is why teacher recommendations, class visits, and interviews are highly valuable parts of the admission process.

When choosing candidates for a new 9th grade, schools today want to make a diverse class of students who will add richness to the educational and social experience of their peers during their years together as a class. Schools look for students with a variety of academic strengths, athletes for every sport, actors and stage crew, musicians, artists and dancers, filmmakers and journalists. Applicants with much to offer outside the classroom may not have top entrance scores and grades, but they may be curious and gifted and role models for leadership. 

If you want to know more about entrance tests and the range of test scores that Houston private schools typically like to see, make an appointment for a SCHOOL SOLUTIONS Consultation. We can discuss test prep resources and a reasonable approach to helping your student become sufficiently prepared for the next admission season. If you want some ideas for helping your child develop the talents and strengths schools are looking for, that is also a good topic for a Consultation with SCHOOL SOLUTIONS Consultant, Carolyn Means.


Recent Posts


Tags



Archive

Back to top of page

Nothing is more important than your child's education. SCHOOL SOLUTIONS in Houston, Texas, offers educational consulting services to help parents make the right choice for their child’s school. As an Educational Consultant and founder of SCHOOL SOLUTIONS in 2004, I have helped over 1000 students find the right fit at over 90 different Houston private and public schools, from preschools to high schools, including special needs schools.

Proudly Serving

Houston Area

Recent Blog Posts

  1. Gateway Academy Tour Carolyn Means 27-Aug-2018
  2. Fusion Academy Tour Carolyn Means 27-Aug-2018
  3. Duchesne Academy of the Sacred Heart Carolyn Means 21-Aug-2018
Except as otherwise noted, the entire content and design of this website is Copyright © All Rights Reserved, by Frisco Websites/Short Story Marketing and its client who manages and updates this website (schoolsolutions.us), and is subject to the terms of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act of 1998 and other laws, as well as by the terms at http://www.friscowebsites.com/terms.html. Some images on this website are used with permission of their owners, and are licensed under a Creative Commons license. These images have been resized and cropped for suitable placement. See the image information for attribution. "Online Business Partner" and "Websites Under Your Control" are federally-registered trademarks of Frisco Websites/Short Story Marketing.